What is an Intimacy Coordinator?

@consent.wizardry

While I was studying to be an Intimacy Coordinator, I was looking for folks in the field who worked on sensitive content with minors. To my surprise, I was always met with the explanation that minors cannot have simulated sex, therefore intimacy coordinators were not involved with their scenes.

This opened a floodgate of questions in my mind: Don’t minors kiss on screen? Aren’t they involved with scenes that have sexual content, deal with complex and mature issues of trauma, mental health, gender, sexuality, race, and so on? Wouldn’t they also benefit from support around the difference between self and character? And what about all the other sensitive content minors are exposed to while on set or stage? 

@consent.wizardry

My approach…

This led me to use my training as an Intimacy Coordinator with Consent Wizardry and my decade of experience working with kids and their parents and guardians to create an approach to working with minors on set.

Even with restrictions on work hours, days on set can feel extra long for minors, especially those who become easily disregulated. My approach includes practices that assist minors in regulating their bodies throughout the shoot. This is not only the safest option for kids, but it ensures that production is able to stay on schedule. My protocols for assisting minors in self-regulation are based in the belief that guiding minors to learn what their body sensations are telling them will help them learn to regulate their own bodies over time. A belief that is echoed by Dr. Mona Delahooke, in her book Brain-Body Parenting, ““Regulation in a child’s physical body supports healthy relationships and loving interactions, in turn building the infrastructure that eventually enables the child to use reasoning, concepts, and thinking to flexibly manage life’s challenges.” (Delahooke, 2022)

One of the ways that I help minors stay regulated is with my kit. This kit is filled with age appropriate sensory and oral tools as well as tools for actors with noise sensitivity.